Top 10 Baseball Distractions

November 01, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Auto Racing-NASCAR AAA Texas 500 (Sunday 3pm from Fort Worth live on ESPN); College Soccer: William & Mary @ Maryland (Tuesday 7:30pm Ludwig Field), Coastal Carolina @ Maryland (Friday 7:30pm Ludwig Field); Boxing-Jimmy Lange vs. Joe Wyatt (Saturday 7pm Patriot Center); ShoBox-Edwin Rodriguez vs. James McGirt, Jr. (Friday 11pm from Fargo, North Dakota live on Showtime), Juan Manuel Lopez vs. Rafael Marquez/Allan Green vs. Glen Johnson (Saturday 10pm from Las Vegas live on Showtime); Zab Judah vs. Lucas Matthysse (Saturday 11:15pm from Newark, NJ live on HBO); NHL: Toronto Maple Leafs @ Washington Capitals (Wednesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on NHL Network & Comcast SportsNet), Boston Bruins @ Washington Capitals (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on NHL Network & Comcast SportsNet), Philadelphia Flyers @ Washington Capitals (Sunday 5pm from Verizon Center live on NHL Network & Comcast SportsNet)

10. The Cult (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Little Big Town (Wednesday 7:30pm Rams Head Live), Wolf Parade (Friday 8pm Rams Head Live), Social Distortion (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live), La Roux (Sunday 7pm Rams Head Live); All Mighty Senators (Saturday 8pm 8×10 Club); Phil Vassar (Sunday 7:30pm Rams Head On Stage); The Script (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Ra Ra Riot (Friday 6:30pm 9:30 Club), Umphrey’s McGee (Friday & Saturday 10pm 9:30 Club); Blue Man Group (Tuesday-Friday 8pm, Saturday 2pm & 8pm, Sunday 1pm & 6:30pm Hippodrome), Interpol (Wednesday 7pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall), Kevin Hart (Friday 8pm & 10:30pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); Bedouin Soundclash (Thursday 8:30pm Rock N Roll Hotel); Jaron And The Long Road To Leave (Thursday 8:30pm State Theatre), Soulive (Friday 9pm State Theatre); Daniel Tosh (Friday 7:30pm & 10:30pm Warner Theatre), Vince Vaughn & Kevin James (Monday 8pm Warner Theatre); Don McLean (Sunday 7:30pm Birchmere); Good Charlotte “Cardiology” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday), “Toy Story 3″ available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday), “Megamind” opens in theaters (Friday)

Not everyone likes country music. But I like country music. At least country music when Little Big Town is playing it…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-XfthjK-bk[/youtube]

Mike Ness is one of the toughest dudes on the face of the planet. I feel like not only could he play a gig with Social D in Charm City this weekend, but he could possibly play safety for the Ravens as well if Dawan Landry were to get hurt…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh8zcbC_Dcw[/youtube]

Some people think it isn’t very manly to be a fan of The Script. To those people I say, “why in the hell would you have thought I was manly otherwise?”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gS9o1FAszdk[/youtube]

Drew Forrester and I are going to see Ra Ra Riot Friday night in DC. I’m planning on telling everyone that my grandfather actually does have fairly decent taste in music.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKkxXaeAhzY[/youtube]

9. World Championship Punkin Chunkin (Friday-Sunday Nassau, Delaware)

This is certainly outside the radius of what I would usually consider “local”, but it’s also awesome enough that I’m going to be forced to let it slide.

Seriously, how in the hell can you argue with an event like THIS?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpfGGWK46pc[/youtube]

8. Lingerie Football League: Orlando Fantasy @ Baltimore Charm (Friday 9pm 1st Mariner Arena)

I don’t consider myself an expert on the LFL by any stretch of the imagination, but I feel like it has to be somewhat disappointing that the Charm have been outscored 93-6 in their first two games of the year.

That being said, I still like it would be unfair to label the team as 0-2 for the season. Mostly because that would mean we’re labeling anyone involved with the LFL as losers…

lfl

7. Pro Wrestling: TNA “Turning Point” (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

Mr. Anderson is facing Jeff Hardy at Turning Point for the strap. But that’s not what I’m most interested in. Instead, I’m much more interested in the match between the Motor City Machine Guns and Team 3D. Why? Because Team 3D is FREAKING AWESOME…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsWt_Gh-n9A[/youtube]

6. High School Football: Perry Hall @ Hereford (Friday 7pm), Glen Burnie @ Chesapeake-Anne Arundel County (Friday 6:30pm)

As always, my PHHS Gators are coming off a blowout win (56-15 over Milford Mill) and Forrester’s Gophers are coming off a blowout loss (44-6 to North County).

But Hereford is always a tricky trip for my Gators. Which bothers me, because there is no team I want to beat more than the Bulls every season.

Why’s that?

Picture a 14 year old Glenn Clark sitting in front of window at 6am…staring out at a thin layer of snow/ice and listening to Dave Durian on WBAL…

“Baltimore County Schools…two hours late…”

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DIDN’T DO ANY OF MY HOMEWORK LAST NIGHT AND I COULD REALLY USE ANOTHER 45 MINUTES OF SLEEP!!!!!!!

“…Hereford Zone only.”

WHAT?!?!?!?!? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So to my Gators…I don’t ask for much. But PLEASE. Win this for all of us who ever had to have our hearts broken by hearing the words “Hereford Zone only.”

Love, G.

5. NBA: Philadelphia 76ers @ Washington Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ New York Knicks (Friday 7:30pm from New York live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), Cleveland Cavaliers @ Washington Wizards (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

Since the ‘Zards appear to stink again this year, thank God Ted Leonsis and company have a favorable schedule. I mean, not even two weeks into the season and they’re already getting a visit from LeBron James and the Cavs!

Oh. No? Well at least they have other good things going on in DC. For example…

grossman

Oh Thank God for Rex Grossman. He couldn’t happen to a better group of A-holes.

4. College Basketball: 2K Sports Classic-Seattle @ Maryland (Monday 8pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Shepherd @ Loyola (Thursday 7pm Reitz Arena); Women’s College Basketball: Gallaudet @ Maryland (Tuesday 7pm Comcast Center), District of Columbia @ Maryland (Sunday 2pm Comcast Center)

Oh College Basketball how I love thee and how much I have missed thee.

Seriously-there are few things in life that I love HALF as much as I love College Basketball.

Off the top of my head, I’d say I love O.A.R., Chris Farley movies and Belgian Wheat beers as much as I love College Basketball. Nothing else.

Well….maybe this…

jello

3. College Football: Maryland @ Miami (Saturday 12pm from Miami live on ESPNU), Navy @ East Carolina (Saturday 3:30pm from Greenville, NC live on MASN)

Okay, I REALLY don’t think the Terrapins are that good.

I know they’re 6-2. I know they’re now 3-1 in the ACC. I know they just hung 62 points on Wake Forest. I know there’s a chance Jacory Harris might not play for the Hurricanes Saturday, and the ‘Canes just lost a game to effing Virginia ANYWAY.

I’m just still not convinced Ralph Friedgen’s Terps are THAT good. But I’ve been wrong before.

For example, I was told recently that there were some new pictures of a gal named Jarah Mariano that deserved a gander. My response was “I bet they’re not that great.”

I was wrong. (Thanks Guyism!)

jarah

2. Horse Racing: Breeders’ Cup (Friday 4pm live on ESPN2, Saturday 1:30pm live on ABC, Saturday 3:30pm live on ESPN. All racing from Louisville, KY)

I can’t believe I’m missing this.

There is NOTHING better than a big racing weekend at Churchill Downs.

Of course, I’m not so sure it’ll be quite the same without the Prince of Kentucky…

glennclark

1. NFL: Miami Dolphins @ Baltimore Ravens (Sunday 1pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on CBS)

It’s not that I’m NOT excited about the Ravens and Fins Sunday afternoon. Trust me, I’m PLENTY excited about it. It’s just that it’s hard to think about ANYTHING going on at “The Bank” right now as being even in the neighborhood of the importance of what will be going on there come June 22, 2011…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziOZCSBy4YE[/youtube]

FREAKING.YES.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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