Top 10 Baseball Distractions

November 23, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention-NHL: Washington Capitals @ Carolina Hurricanes (Wednesday 7pm from Raleigh live on Comcast SportsNet), Tampa Bay Lightning @ Washington Capitals (Friday 5pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Carolina Hurricanes @ Washington Capitals (Sunday 5pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet & NHL Network)

10. Ozzy Osbourne (Monday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); Charm City Devils (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live), Jah Works (Saturday 8pm Rams Head Live); Crack The Sky (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); Citizen Cope (Tuesday & Wednesday 7:30pm Birchmere, Friday 8:30pm, Saturday 1:30pm & 8:30pm Rams Head On Stage); Carbon Leaf (Wednesday 6pm 9:30 Club), Donovan Frankenreiter (Thursday 8pm 9:30 Club), Cyndi Lauper (Saturday 6pm 9:30 Club), KT Tunstall (Saturday 10pm 9:30 Club), Brandon Flowers (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); Shelby Lynne (Monday 7:30pm Birchmere); Lisa Lampanelli (Saturday 7pm Warner Theatre); Kanye West “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday); Inception“, “Despicable Me” and “Shrek Forever After” available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday)

I have an attorney friend (I should probably have more of those) who has an extra ticket to see Ozzy Monday. She’s quizzing her friends about Ozzy to see who will get the ticket. The first question is one of those “just don’t answer this the wrong way” questions. It is: “What is your favorite Ozzy song?” Rumor has it there’s someone who actually DIDN’T answer “War Pigs.” Fine by me, I’m a step closer to having a ticket!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtqy4DTHGqg[/youtube]

No SR-71 Thanksgiving show this year, but I’d be MORE than happy to see CCD instead. I’m digging “Best of the Worst”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7XhpOrrkAM[/youtube]

Citizen Cope could do just about ANYTHING and I’d be in. But if I was headed to Annapolis to see him-I’d be hoping for “Pablo Picasso”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4d4O02BJz74[/youtube]

There are a lot of rumors that this will be one of the better disc’s in Kanye’s career. I’ll admit that “Devil In A New Dress” makes me hopeful…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D55rDDvu3n4[/youtube]

9. Glenn Clark’s Thanksgiving Plans (Wednesday-Saturday)

And seriously-I think I’ve got a win.

On Wednesday, I’ll appease a roommate and we’ll watch Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Calling it a classic doesn’t really do it justice. (Clip VERY NSFW!)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5o8DFfYHS4[/youtube]

Thursday night is easy. Pumpkin Pie, white wine and Home Alone. It is what it is…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dGOfFbzvq4[/youtube]

And after everything calms down Saturday, my favorite part of Turkey Day begins. You know, the part where I slab turkey, mashed potatoes and BBQ sauce on bread and forget the words “calorie intake” mean anything.

tgiving

8. Soccer-World Cup Qualifying (Women’s): Italy @ Team USA (Saturday 2pm from Bridgeview, IL live on ESPN3.com), College Soccer-NCAA Tournament: Penn State @ Maryland (Sunday 4pm Ludwig Field)

I’m so TORN here!

We all know I love the red, white & blue. And since the greatest American women’s soccer moment involved stripping, I PARTICULARLY love American women’s soccer.

But this is Italy we’re talking about. The land of my forefathers. The land that taught me that talking with my hands is as important as talking with my lips, and that my lips are more made for kissing.

It’s also the land that gave us “The Situation”! How can we root against them?!?!?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zT9p1vnBjo[/youtube]

7. Table Tennis: JOOLA North American Tennis Championships (Friday-Sunday Baltimore Convention Center)

I was going to simply say “I’m picking Forrest Gump” and leave it at that, but apparently the former Alabama KR is not playing this year. I’m just as surprised as you.

Seriously-I love playing ping-pong, but these people are freaking NUTS.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8IVASo0umU[/youtube]

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!? WOW!

6. Tennis: Barclays ATP World Tour Finals (Tuesday-Saturday 1pm, Sunday 3pm from London live on Tennis Channel)

FINALLY! Some eye candy for the blog!!!!!!

andyroddick

Maybe not all of you are as big of Andy Roddick fans as I am, but…ummm…deal with it.

5. NBA: Philadelphia 76ers @ Washington Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Atlanta Hawks (Thursday 8pm from Atlanta live on TNT), Orlando Magic @ Washington Wizards (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet & NBA TV), Washington Wizards @ Miami Heat (Monday 7:30pm from Miami live on Comcast SportsNet)

I haven’t been following basketball in a while, do we still hate the Heat because of LeBron James?

Sorry, I just don’t pay as much attention as I probably should.

Oh and also…do you think Gary Payton and Shawn Kemp will finally get the Seattle Supersonics past the Chicago Bulls this year? That’s a hell of a combo they’ve got there in the Emerald City…

4. College Football: North Carolina State @ Maryland (Saturday 3:30pm from Byrd Stadium live on ESPN2)

Yes, the ACC Championship Game is out of the picture. But beating the Wolfpack Saturday might very well be the difference in the Terps going to a bowl game in Nashville or Charlotte instead of ending up in a bowl game at RFK Stadium.

Let’s think about that a bit. Music City gave us Kings of Leon…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kQUjwv2R1g[/youtube]

The Queen City gave us Anthony Hamilton…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4LVf9qdFYA[/youtube]

And DC gave us…ummm….Rod Strickland?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTyNwkZwCzg[/youtube]

3. College Basketball: Delaware State @ Maryland (Tuesday 8pm Comcast Center), Elon @ Maryland (Friday 8pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet); UMBC @ Coppin State (Wednesday 7:30pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex); Loyola @ Morgan State (Monday 7pm Hill Field House); Navy @ Towson (Wednesday 7pm Towson Center)

I hate it when local teams play against each other. I mean, how do I pick between Randy Monroe’s Retrievers or Fang Mitchell’s Eagles? And how do I pick between Jimmy Patsos’ Greyhounds or Todd Bozeman’s Bears?

It’s like trying to pick what Thanksgiving dessert I enjoy more:
spp
pumpkinpie
pecanpie

You know what? I’m not picking. Good luck to ALL of the local teams this week, and please bring me one of each type of pie. MMM….pie….

2. High School Football-MPSSAA Playoffs: Broadneck @ Henry A. Wise (Saturday 1pm), Urbana @ Gaithersburg (Friday 7pm), Wilde Lake @ Damascus (Friday 7pm), Huntingtown @ Franklin (Friday 7pm), Eastern Tech @ Middletown (Friday 7pm), McDonough @ Queen Anne’s (Friday 7pm), Fort Hill @ Dunbar (Saturday 1pm Poly High School), Brunswick @ Havre de Grace (Friday 7pm); Turkey Bowl: Calvert Hall vs. Loyola Blakefield (Thursday 10am from M&T Bank Stadium live on ABC2)

Here’s what Thursday’s annual showdown between the Cardinals and Dons means to those of us in Baltimore with no MIAA ties.

You see, when you’re growing up-Calvert Hall/Loyola is simply the game you flip over to for a minute after Santa Claus strolls through New York in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

After you turn 21 and discover the “true” meaning of Thanksgiving Eve, Calvert Hall/Loyola becomes a game you can’t POSSIBLY wake up early enough to watch before stuffing your face with enough food to make you forget about your hangover.

As a side note, let’s go Franklin Indians again Friday night. You knock Ken Brinkman and North Harford High School out of the playoffs, you get EVERY ounce of support possible from me.

Up yours, Brinkman.

1. NFL: Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Baltimore Ravens (Sunday 4:15pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on FOX); New England Patriots @ Detroit Lions (Thursday 12:30pm from Detroit live on CBS), New Orleans Saints @ Dallas Cowboys (Thursday 4:15pm from Arlington, TX live on FOX), Cincinnati Bengals @ New York Jets (Thursday 8:20pm from East Rutherford, NJ live on NFL Network)

As we gather around televisions Thursday to enjoy the annual celebration that is watching the Lions get their asses kicked, I’d like to take some time to remember the true meaning of the day.

It is important that we give thanks for the many wonderful things that have happened this year.

For example, let’s give thanks that Frank Walker now plays for the Minnesota Vikings.

And let’s give thanks that the McRib is back. It’s not my thing anymore, but I really do get it.

And finally, let’s give thanks that Amanda Harrington forgot to grab a bra before snapping this picture. (Thanks Busted Coverage!)

amandaharrington

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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