Top 10 Baseball Distractions

January 10, 2011 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention-Women’s College Basketball: Boston College @ Maryland (Thursday 7pm Comcast Center)

10. Little Feat (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live); Big Bad Voodoo Daddy (Thursday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Virginia Coalition (Saturday 6pm 9:30 Club); Cake “Showroom of Compassion” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday), Cage The Elephant “Thank You Happy Birthday” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

Say what you want…Little Feat is AWESOME…

Does it make me a nerd if I admit that I kinda dig Big Bad Voodoo Daddy?

If you’re not listening to VACO, start soon. Just a recommendation.

I haven’t heard anything from the new Cake CD, but if it sounds anything like…Cake…I’ll probably enjoy it. Especially if it sounds like “Shadow Stabbing”…

9. “The Social Network” available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday); The Green Hornet” & “The Dilemma” out in theaters (Friday)

I didn’t get to see The Social Network. I don’t know why, either. It was filmed at Johns Hopkins, it starred Justin Timberlake and it was nominated for like every single Golden Globe Award. The only way I could have enjoyed it more is if I could have watched it at Chick-Fil-A.

I’m sure it was really good. But I’m not sure it was QUITE as good as what Saturday Night Live did recently with Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg…

I don’t know what I think about The Dilemma. Vince Vaughn is funny. Kevin James is…well…Kevin James. It looks like it might be a disaster. It certainly doesn’t look as good as Wedding Crashers…

And The Green Hornet? I want to be excited, but good movies don’t usually come out in January…

8. High School Basketball: Perry Hall @ Hereford (Wednesday 6:30pm), Dulaney @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm)

I remember I was in Drivers Ed with a girl who went to Dulaney. She was really attractive. She sat in the back of the room, I sat in the front (I believe I sat next to fellow PHHS alum Josh Seidel). I spent most of the classroom time staring at her. She caught me.

One night she held up a sign that said…

“Don’t Stare Too Long. You’ll Have Nightmares.”

We ended up making out during break that night.

So why am I telling you this story? I dunno. It was either that or post another one of those “Jailbait” pictures. But that would be inappropriate.

I’m above that, folks.

7. Golf: PGA Tour Sony Open in Hawaii (Thursday-Sunday 7pm Honolulu live on Golf Channel)

I don’t have anything to say about the golf tournament. It’s January. Why the hell are they even playing?

BUT…I strangely find the promos for the new season of The Haney Project with Rush Limbaugh.

If Hank Haney can fix Limbaugh, maybe I should be his next project. I’m TERRIBLE.

6. NBA: Sacramento Kings @ Washington Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Minnesota Timberwolves (Thursday 8pm from Minneapolis live on Comcast SportsNet), Toronto Raptors @ Washington Wizards (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Utah Jazz @ Washington Wizards (Monday 1pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

I don’t know what the Wizards are going to do this week (what do they usually do, folks?), but I KNOW it won’t be nearly as entertaining as what Austin Groff did for for Twin Valley South…

Here are some other cool things. Sue Bird once did this…

And Baron Davis hooked Blake Griffin up with this…

Those things were all significantly cooler than anything the ‘Zards are going to do this season.

5. NHL: Washington Capitals @ Florida Panthers (Tuesday 7:30pm from Sunrise, FL live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS),Washington Capitals @ Tampa Bay Lightning (Wednesday 7:30pm from Tampa Bay live on Comcast SportsNet & NHL Network), Vancouver Canucks @ Washington Capitals (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet & NHL Network), Ottawa Senators @ Washington Capitals (Sunday 3pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

I don’t like the Caps, but I DO like Puck Daddy-and of course I like Charm City. So thank you Puck Daddy for unearthing these pictures of former Caps players Peter Bondra and Al Iafrate hanging out in Baltimore and INEXPLICABLY wearing short shorts…


Leave it to effing Capitals players for bringing short shorts to Baltimore. Creeps.

4. Nuclear Cowboyz (Friday-Saturday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena)

Is this cool?

Freestyle motocross isn’t really my thing (technically, I’m not sure WHOSE thing it is…or if it even IS a real thing); but I THINK it looks cool.

I KNOW it isn’t as cool as Jackass 3D…

3. Tennis: Australian Open Opening Round (Sunday 6:30pm, Monday 9pm from Melbourne, AUS live on ESPN2)

My pick to win this year is going to be Caroline Wozniacki.


And hell, if she doesn’t win-she could just marry me instead. That’s just as good, right?

2. College Basketball: Maryland @ Wake Forest (Wednesday 8pm from Winston-Salem, NC live on Raycom Sports-WNUV 54 in Charm City), Maryland @ Villanova (Saturday 1pm from Philadelphia live on CBS); South Carolina State @ Morgan State (Saturday 5pm from Hill Field House live on ESPN2); North Carolina Central @ Coppin St. (Saturday 4pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex), South Carolina State @ Coppin St. (Monday 7:30pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex); Hofstra @ Towson (Wednesday 7pm Towson Center), Delaware @ Towson (Saturday 4pm Towson Center); Boston University @ UMBC (Monday 7pm RAC Arena); Fairfield @ Loyola (Friday 7pm from Reitz Arena live on ESPNU)

For the record, I (Glenn Clark) don’t really give a crap about Philly. It’s ol’ Drew Forrester who has a problem with the folks from The City of Brotherly Love.

Until now. Now Maryland has to invade the Wells Fargo Center. With that in mind…

Eff Villanova.

Eff Tastykake.

Eff Geno’s Steaks.

Eff Bill Cosby.

Eff Philadelphia.

Classy, I know. Before you ask, mom is (mostly) still proud.

1. NFL Playoffs: AFC Divisional Round-Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers (Saturday 4:30pm from Pittsburgh live on CBS), New York Jets @ New England Patriots (Sunday 4:30pm from Foxborough, MA live on CBS); NFC Divisional RoundGreen Bay Packers @ Atlanta Falcons (Saturday 8pm from Atlanta live on FOX), Seattle Seahawks @ Chicago Bears (Sunday 1pm from Chicago live on FOX)

Before we get to the Ravens, I offer this AWESOME Tecmo Super Bowl clip of Marshawn Lynch’s TD run against the New Orleans Saints…

And for Ken Brinkman, Matt Vensel and all of my other friends from Western Pennsylvania, I think this will do…


Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…