Top 10 Baseball Distractions

January 24, 2011 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Boxing-Devon Alexander vs. Timothy Bradley (Saturday 10pm from Pontiac, MI live on HBO), Friday Night Fights: Cristobal Arreola vs. Joey Abell (Friday 10pm from Temecula, CA live on ESPN2); Women’s College Basketball: Wake Forest @ Maryland (Friday 8:30pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Longwood @ Maryland (Sunday 2pm Comcast Center); Soccer: MISL-Chicago Riot @ Baltimore Blast (Friday 7:35pm 1st Mariner Arena); High School Basketball: Perry Hall @ Woodlawn (Wednesday 6:30pm), Catonsville @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm), Glen Burnie @ Broadneck (Wednesday 5pm); NBA: Denver Nuggets @ Washington Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Oklahoma City Thunder (Friday 8pm from Oklahoma City live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Memphis Grizzlies (Saturday 8pm from Memphis live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Dallas Mavericks (Monday 8:30pm from Dallas live on Comcast SportsNet)

10. Liz Phair (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Anberlin (Wednesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Umphrey’s McGee (Sunday 7pm Rams Head Live); Less Than Jake (Thursday 7:30pm Sonar); Mike Doughty (Thursday 8pm Rams Head On Stage), Bacon Brothers (Friday & Saturday 6:30pm & 9:30pm Rams Head On Stage); Adema (Tuesday 6:15pm Jaxx); Donnell Rawlings (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv); Kathleen Madigan (Thursday 7:30pm Birchmere); 2011 Grammy Nominees CD available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday); “The Mechanic” released in theaters (Friday); “Secretariat” available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday)

A word to describe Anberlin? “Underrated”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjE_2fFMnG0[/youtube]

I haven’t always been a big fan of Less Than Jake, but their David Cassidy cover was pretty cool…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTteO9TxKN4[/youtube]

I LOVED Soul Coughing. Even solo, I STILL love Mike Doughty…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qktIKYZJYs8[/youtube]

There are plenty of songs on the Grammy Nominees CD. Only one of them is worth of being considered the best of the year. Language NSFW…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc0mxOXbWIU[/youtube]

9. Monster Jam (Friday 7:30pm, Saturday 2pm & 7:30pm Verizon Center)

My friend Brady Gardiner from MLB Network Radio commented on Facebook that if you attend the 2:00 edition of Monster Jam Saturday in DC, you’ll have time to make it to the 8:00 performance of “Cymbeline” at the Shakespeare Theatre Company next door.

Look…the only thing I know about Monster Jam is that my cousins’ kids really dig Grave Digger. I don’t blame them. It’s pretty cool…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LIifYLOcz0[/youtube]

8. Maryland State Police Polar Bear Plunge (Saturday all day Sandy Point State Park), Baltimore Boat Show (Thursday-Sunday Baltimore Convention Center)

A couple of things I know about the Polar Bear Plunge.

1-Joe Flacco will be there. So if you’re a Ravens fan…or just a fan of eyebrows…you’re in luck.

2-DJ Pauly D will be there. You know, the guy from Jersey Shore. So you know what time it is…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjVkplphsBU[/youtube]

And 3-I don’t care how cold it is. There will be girls in bikinis. Do I really need to share a picture for you to understand why that’s a good thing?

7. Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce-Nick Diaz vs. Evangelista “Cyborg” Santos (Saturday 10pm from San Jose live on Showtime)

Also on Saturday night’s Strikeforce card is Herschel Walker, facing some dude named Scott Carson. If there was more for me to share here, I’d share it.

In other MMA news, Allison Diehl is a Hooters girl who was recently named a UFC ring card girl. That’s MUCH more interesting…

ufcgirl

6. NHL: Washington Capitals @ Atlanta Thrashers (Wednesday 7pm from Atlanta live on Comcast SportsNet); Honda NHL SuperSkills (Saturday 7pm from Raleigh, NC live on VERSUS), NHL All-Star Game (Sunday 4pm from Raleigh live on VERSUS)

While the Skills competition tends to be better than the ASG on the ice, I doubt I’ll be watching the Skills competition either.

That is unless they’ve added “Knucklepuck” to hockey’s Saturday night event. If they’ve added Knucklepuck, I’m IN…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqq-glymrRs[/youtube]

5. NFL: Pro Bowl (Sunday 7pm from Honolulu live on FOX)

I know you’re probably thinking to yourself, “The Pro Bowl stinks.”

Well…you’re right. The Pro Bowl is terrible, like most all other All-Star Games.

But at the same time, it’s the only football game on TV Sunday. I mean, what the hell else are you going to watch? Disney on Ice?

And who knows, maybe the Backstreet Boys will show up again! Nothing says “Pro Bowl is awesome” quite like a BSB halftime show…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDWol7C7jlQ[/youtube]

4. Pro Wrestling: WWE Royal Rumble (Sunday 8pm from Boston live on Pay-Per-View)

Holy crap there are 40 guys in the Rumble this year? In no ways did I think this event could be cooler than it was in my childhood, but it actually sounds like it might be.

I know this much as a fact. There could have been 30, 40, or 200 men in the Royal Rumble in 1995. Shawn Michaels was winning the damn thing…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4tZz8qUPDA[/youtube]

(Edit from GMC: The happiest 11 year old on the face of the planet resided in Kingville, MD that night.)

3. College Football: Senior Bowl (Saturday 4pm from Mobile, AL live on NFL Network)

Yep, I’ll be watching. Nope, I won’t be wearing pants.

Why would you even ask???

A couple names to follow during the Senior Bowl include Allen Bailey & Leonard Hankerson from Miami, as well as Mark Herzlich from Boston College.

This is always a good news/bad news day for the city of Mobile. The good news is that they get to host a great event. The bad news is that they know there won’t be anything else happening there all year that anyone will want to attend.

Well…other than this….

pecan

You see…that’s an event I’d actually think about attending…

2. College Basketball: Maryland @ Virginia (Thursday 7pm from Charlottesville, VA live on Comcast SportsNet), Maryland @ Georgia Tech (Sunday 7:45pm from Atlanta live on Comcast SportsNet); Norfolk State @ Morgan State (Saturday 1pm from Hill Field House live on ESPNU), North Carolina A&T @ Morgan State (Monday 7:30pm Hill Field House); North Carolina A&T @ Coppin State (Saturday 4pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex), Norfolk State @ Coppin State (Monday 7:30pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex); Albany @ UMBC (Wednesday 7pm RAC Arena); Towson @ George Mason (Wednesday 7pm Patriot Center); Siena @ Loyola (Friday 7pm Reitz Arena), Iona @ Loyola (Sunday 12pm Reitz Arena)

Have I mentioned recently how much I freaking DESPISE those idiot Wahoos at UVa…

uva

Ugh…just look at those clowns. They even ruin what might be otherwise attractive women.

Your ties stink. Auld Lang Syne is not a fight song. Dave Matthews Band should be ashamed to call you home.

That it all.

1. Tennis: Australian Open (Tuesday 12am & 7pm, Wednesday 9:30pm, Friday 3:30am, Saturday-Women’s Final-3am, Sunday-Men’s Final-3am live on ESPN2; Wednesday 7pm, Friday-Women’s Doubles Final-11pm, Sunday-Men’s Doubles Final-5:30am, Monday-Mixed Doubles Final-12:30am live on Tennis Channel. All tennis from Melbourne, AUS)

I will admit that I didn’t stay up late/wake up early to watch Andy Roddick Saturday night. I’ve done that too many times in my life to have the stomach to do it again.

So when I woke up Sunday morning, I immediately raced to WNST.net to try to get the details.

I should have already known.

So with A-Rod once again meeting an early (and pathetic) demise in a Grand Slam event, I’m left searching for other reasons to watch.

Fortunately, the second most attractive tennis player in the world is still in the draw…

wozniacki

Now if Caroline Wozniacki doesn’t win, I’ll be forced to drawn my sorrows in 3-44 Foster’s.


Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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