Welcome to Baltimore, Matt Elam.
Look, I have no business telling you anything about how to play football, so I won’t do that.
Just do me a favor.
Show up here and be a right guy.
No run-ins with the cops, please. Say “how ya doin’ kid?” and sign an autograph or two for the young fans when you see them at the stadium prior to home games. Try not to get involved in any sort of stupid one-on-one battles with national TV talking heads that might take away from your on-field focus.
Just play football. Good football, if I can ask that of you.
You’re coming to a great organization with awesome fans. It’s a nice town to raise a family, if that’s your thing. Hell, our baseball team is even good again after 14 seasons as the equivalent of your old SEC friends, Kentucky.
You’ll love it in Baltimore, I promise.
Have a great career, Matt.
Oh, just one more thing.
When you intercept a ball, please don’t lateral it when you’re returning it down the field.
The last guy we had back there liked to do that and it drove everyone nuts.
It’s traditional in sports for players to hold up their index finger to make the “number 1” sign.
You do it after a win or a touchdown or a goal or a basket or a putt that wins you the Masters.
“I’m #1” you’re saying.
Last night in New York, every guy drafted who was in the building came up on stage and met the Commissioner of the NFL, our good pal Roger Goodell. You remember him, he’s the guy who tried to use a Jewish Holiday to steal the opening football game of the upcoming season from Baltimore. Then, when that ploy didn’t work, he just stole the game anyway and gave it to Denver.
Moving on — so every player who came up on stage last night repeated the same steps. They came up, met the Commish, got their jersey, flashed a million dollar smile — and held up one finger to signify their status as a 1st round pick.
All of those made sense except for one guy.
DeAndre Hopkins was picked by the Texans last night.
But he made a huge mistake.
He should have flashed what we all know as “the peace sign”…where you hold up TWO fingers.
You know, as in “number two”.
If you don’t get that, just google the words “DeAndre Hopkins hotel room” and you’ll understand.
Damn, that would have been really funny last night.
Holding up TWO fingers…
In a weird kind of way, I sort of like the fact that Adam Jones suddenly can’t play the outfield.
He made another gaffe last night in Oakland that cost the Birds two early runs, but they went on to win easily, 10-2, so it turned out to be a “no-harm” mistake in the long run.
After years of catching nearly everything hit at him, Jones has suddenly become the outfield’s version of Mark Reynolds at 3rd base. Now, when a ball is hit in the direction of Jones, it’s starting to become one of those situations where you say to yourself, “What on earth is going to happen here?”.
It makes it worth watching, if you ask me.
I’m even starting to chew gum and blow bubbles while I’m watching the games.
I play Bruce Springsteen music on Friday during the D&L Window Tinting Morning Reaction.
It’s just my weekly tip of the cap to The Boss.
I’m a huge fan…not necessarily an expert…but I have every Springsteen album and I feel like I’ve made the journey along with him throughout his musical career. It spans my life, basically.
Anyway, to me, his most underrated album ever is “Magic”, which he released in 2007.
This morning’s show started with THIS SONG RIGHT HERE, called “Long Walk Home”. I’ve seen Bruce 20 times, exactly, but I’ve never seen him play this song live. I don’t have many Springsteen regrets, but that’s one of them.
Have a great weekend. Stay safe.
Talk to you on Monday.