Shame on you, Baltimore, for bashing Brian Roberts

January 14, 2012 | Drew Forrester

Shame on you, Baltimore, for bashing Brian Roberts

You know it’s a slow off-season for your baseball team when the most exciting news is the return of a cartoon character to the team’s hat and the biggest controversy is whether or not the club’s most popular player is attending FanFest or not.

Welcome to Orioles 2012.

The Brian Roberts saga reached new heights this week when the club announced he wouldn’t be attending next Saturday’s FanFest due to his continuing battle with post-concussion syndrome.

Orioles fans everywhere – well, not everywhere, but the 1,691 who still really care – were outraged.

Most people couldn’t understand how Roberts, headache and all, isn’t able to “just sit at a table and sign stuff”.  Some have even gone as far as to suggest the popular 2nd baseman might be jaking it.  That makes sense — I can just hear Roberts and his wife at their Thanksgiving feast now.  ”If I can keep having these headaches for two months, maybe I won’t have to go to FanFest.”

Why on earth would Brian Roberts want to submit himself to this scenario next Saturday…

“Hi Brian, we love you.  We can’t wait to see  you on the field again.  When you comin’ back, hon?” (Roberts: “I’m not sure, whenever the doctors say it’s OK and my head stops hurting and bright lights don’t bother me and I can listen to James Taylor on my iPod without throwing up.”)

“Brian, it’s great to see you.  You gonna play this year?” (“I hope so.  I want to.  But I have to feel better first.”)

“Brian, my Uncle Cliff had a concussion once and we made him drink a bunch of V-8 tomato juice and do a handstand and it helped him like you wouldn’t believe.” (“Wow, that’s really interesting.  I might have to try that.”)

“Oh, Brian, we miss you so much.  Can’t you just play two or three games a week?”  (“Well, I’m not sure.  I’m trying to get better real quick for all of you though, so I’ll get back in there as soon as I can.”)

“I don’t understand.  I played high school football back in 1983 and I got a concussion in the state quarterfinals but I came right back and played the following week in the semifinals, headache and all.  I just decided to tough it out.” (“Wow, that’s really inspiring.  Your school must have been really proud.”)

“We bought tickets to opening day just to see you, Brian.  Don’t let us down.” (“I don’t want to let you down, believe me, but I have to listen to my doctors.  But thanks for buying those tickets.”)

“You still gonna collect that $20 million the team owes you?” (“I’m just trying to come back and play baseball…”)

“Can you and your wife still have sex when you have those headaches?  I got a concussion a couple of weeks ago when I got drunk in Canton and fell in the street as I was leaving Looney’s and I just don’t feel like being intimate with my girlfriend anymore.” (“Well, umm…that’s sort of private.”)

“Why didn’t you answer that guy’s question about having sex with your wife?  We pay your salary, remember.” (“I think I’m gonna throw up.  I’ll be right back.”)

Let’s all admit this.

We wouldn’t want those questions if we were right of mind, let alone if we were battling our way through a concussion that has somehow lingered for the better part of 18 months. (Please see next page)

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6 Comments For This Post

  1. unitastoberry Says:

    Drew ,I hope Brian gets his head on straight. I mean he has 20 million reasons to? Maybe if the Orioles had some Yankee or Red Sox players at fan fest people would show up? They could sell Yanks and Bosox jerseys and give Bruins and Rangers updates on the big screen in the lobby. Maybe get Bobby Orr to sign too? Call Amtrack for a discount or free light rail passes from Camden Station to the Convention Center? I know I know dont give the brains in the warehouse any ideas. I’m bad.

  2. The "Armchair QB" Says:

    This just smacks of fans’ continuous frustration with a dysfunctional organization that cannot seem to do anything right except….make money! In fact, we would all be better off if we completely ignored this poor excuse for a ball club unless or until they exhibit as much commitment to winning as they do to making money!

  3. Sydneyfromparkville Says:

    You make a lot of good points Drew. Dan Duquette commented the other day saying he didn’t see any reason why Roberts wouldn’t be able to attend Fan Fest. It was almost like he was trying to confront him.

  4. tsnamm Says:

    Contacts in MLB are guaranteed that’s the way it goes…Roberts has no reason to “give it back”, nobody else in MLB has, and there’s a LONG list of guys who should have for various reasons…besides, the Orioles have insurance on the contract and its not coming out of their pockets anyway.

  5. Justafan Says:

    It’s just much to do about nothing.

  6. Paul from Towson Says:

    Drew, great piece here. Roberts has been my son’s favorite player since he was old enough to hold a baseball, and to I have always rooted harder for him then any other Oriole. He has seen more losing then just about any other player in this franchise’s history, and yet, when healthy, he came to the ball park everyday and worked his tail off for a club that NEVER had his back. His work in the community is above and beyond any other Orioles over the past decade not named Melvin Mora, and yet these fans have the audacity to question Brian’s integrity? Laughable. Not only does he deserve that $20 million, but given what he has put into this organization, he also deserves, at some point, to have a street named after him in this city. The guy has been nothing but class since taking over as the face of he organization, and he does not deserve idiot armchair managers questioning him.

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