Thursday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

March 25, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Happy Thursday!

It’s a Happy Thursday for me because of Alicia Keys’ pants…

Highlights of the night (sorry I don’t have video from the actual show) included Alicia’s “Put It In a Love Song” (you know, the song she did with Beyonce on her new record)…

and Robin Thicke doing the tune “Shakin’ It For Daddy” (How could I have POSSIBLY NOT KNOWN ABOUT THIS?!?!?)

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1.’s Alden Gonzalez says Brian Matusz shaky over 6 innings as Orioles fell to Cardinals

Not to put any unnecessary pressure on Brian Matusz, but…ummm….you’re not allowed to be shaky.

Like, ever.

I know this seems ridiculous, but you’re our bastian of hope. We really need you to be Tom Glavine as soon as….this season. I know you weren’t bad yesterday, but we can’t afford for you to even be shaky.

After the last 13 years, we’re a fragile bunch. We’re going to need you to be perfect.

And in fairness, we put the same expectation level on “Battlestar Galactica” actress Grace Park, and she managed to live up to the expectations (Thanks WWTDD)…..


2. The AP says Miguel Tejada’s probation extended 6 months or until he completes community service

Let’s go ahead and get it out of the way….

“No, playing for the Orioles does NOT count as community service, even if it IS more degrading than collecting trash along the highway.”

Sorry, I had to get that out of the way.

Look, do I think it’s a bit odd that Miguel Tejada had an entire offseason to finish his community service requirements and was unable to do it? Yeah, I do. BUT, it is totally possible that Tejada assumed that something he did WOULD be approved as community service, only to have his probation officer tell him it wouldn’t be approved.

As far as his trip to help earthquake victims in Haiti is concerned, it would be my assumption that because he was convicted of a federal crime, the community service would have to be performed in the United States.

Hopefully someone in Sarasota will actually ask him about the situation today before (or after) the Birds play the Yankees. Guess what! You can actually see today’s game on MASN, too!

Which I guess means they ran out of episodes of the East Carolina basketball show…

3. Fox Sports’ Ken Rosenthal says O’s farm director David Stockstill to be replaced by brother John Stockstill, others

Rosenthal says the organization was frustrated with some of how Stockstill was doing his job.

In a related story, I’m personally frustrated with much of how the organization has done THEIR job.

This is absolutely an important role within the organization, and while it’s a bit odd that Andy MacPhail would make this decision as Spring Training closes and with Opening Day just around the corner-I don’t think it’s something we really need to look too far into.

Of course, I’ve thought a lot of things in my day. Like when I thought I could possibly eat 33 Chick-Fil-A sandwiches in one sitting. I should have known I’d tap out at 27.

4.’s Rex Snider says Rafael Palmeiro, Roberto Alomar belong in Orioles Hall of Fame

These are certainly “great debate” topics. Frankly, if the Orioles Advocates are going to put Johnny Oates in the Hall of Fame-there’s NO argument that Roberto Alomar can’t be in. Johnny Oates was a mediocre manager for four seasons (even if he was a nice guy) while Roberto Alomar was a TREMENDOUS player for three seasons. It negates the “he wasn’t here long enough” argument.

As far as Rafael Palmeiro is concerned, I think he has to be in-but I understand the argument. If you’d just rather not put someone who caused the organization such public embarrassment in, I don’t know that I can argue too much. HOWEVER-Palmeiro also was the source of some of the better moments over the last 20 seasons as well. It’s a legitimate debate.

Sort of like “Is that chick Pauley Perrette from NCIS hot?”|


I honest to God can’t say for sure.

5. National Football Post’s Aaron Wilson says former Syracuse WR Mike Williams will work out for Ravens Monday

What is it about the name Mike Williams and the NFL Draft?

First there was the USC receiver who tried to follow the Maurice Clarett path out of college football, only to have his path to the Draft stopped by a judge and his path BACK to the Trojans stopped by the NCAA. After being drafted by the Lions, he eventually got too fat to play the position and had to leave the league entirely.

Then there was the Offensive Tackle from Texas who was selected 4th overall by the Bills, then ballooned up to over 400 pounds before eventually being “rescued” by the Washington Redskins. (Oxy moron?) Despite being a Top 5 pick, Williams has been named to as many Pro Bowls as Intern Super Jack.

Now, there’s another Mike Williams-and he already comes in with question marks after leaving the Orange halfway through the season. I don’t think it’s fair to just naturally assume that means he’s on his way to NFL Draft bust-dom; but it certainly can’t bode well.

I think the only name that would bode worse would be “Tony Mandarich.”

6. The Sun’s Mike Preston says Michael McCrary to work with Terrell Suggs, Ravens pass rushers

This is a logical fit-all legal issues aside. The Ravens use a number of volunteer coaches during Training Camp (when he’s not apologizing for Cincinnati Bearcats basketball, Brad “It’s Your Boy” Jackson has spent plenty of time doing the same thing); and it is certainly good to have other guys around who already knows what it means to “Play Like a Raven.”

Of course, I’d like to have Rob Fahey around more often to help us learn how to “Play Like a Ravyn.”

7. Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson says Jared Gaither now plans to report to offseason program Monday

Thank God! Civic crisis over!!!

In fairness, it will be good to have Jared Gaither in Owings Mills this offseason. That being said, I don’t think it will get Ozzie Newsome too much closer to getting a contract extension done.

I really believe that at this point, the Ravens are comfortable with the idea that Gaither can play an anchor tackle position for a team that has a chance to win a Super Bowl. While attempting to deal him for a high pick in the NFL Draft is a nice idea, I don’t think it’s particularly realistic at this point-and I don’t think playing an unproven RT (say, Oniel Cousins) is the best bet for a team trying to make sure they win the AFC North this season.

8.’s Ryan Mink says team looked at Shay Hodge, Dexter McCluster, Greg Hardy, etc. at Ole Miss Pro Day

All of whom are interesting prospects. Hodge is mid-sized receiver (6’1″) who should be available a bit later in the Draft-and would have to be at least a bit intriguing to the Ravens as the weekend progresses.

McCluster is a back EVERYONE is talking about, as he is as much a good pass catcher and route runner as he is a solid ball carrier. Is he as complete as Ray Rice? Maybe not, but he sure as hell is an interesting player-even if there isn’t necessarily a natural role for him in Baltimore right now.

And Hardy was a SLAM DUNK 1st round choice before injury, but certainly could still be a pass rush monster at the next level. If you’re not aware, the Ravens could use some help in that area.

If you missed Drew Forrester’s interviews with Draft prospects Brandon Ghee (Wake Forest CB) and Devin McCourty (Rutgers CB) today on “The Comcast Morning Show”, check out the Audio Vault at

9. previews tonight’s WNIT matchup between Terrapins women, Providence at Comcast Center

If you’re looking for something to do tonight, wander down to College Park and root out Brenda Frese’s gals as they continue their attempt to salvage their season.

Unrelated, the NCAA Tournament continues tonight-and I’ll of course be rooting for Syracause-not because I’m a fan of the Orange; but because I picked them to win the entire NCAA Tournament in the in-house bracket here at 1550 Hart Rd. Of course, Luke Jones did as well, so I’m also going to need West Virginia to lose in the process.

One thing I know for sure. I’m NOT losing to Intern Genna! Now, for absolutely no reason at all-here’s a picture of Intern Genna kissing a friend of hers that I found while Facebook stalking. I’ll leave it up here until AT LEAST when she asks me to take it down. Maybe later than that.


10. D1scourse’s Patrick Stevens says Maryland LB Alex Wujciak healthy this Spring, ready to help lead defense

It’s on him and Adrian Moten. They’ll need to be both the physical and emotional leaders of a defensive unit that showed some signs of improvement down the stretch last season, but was still woefully incomplete.

Does anyone have a recruiting update on Connor Wujciak, by the way?

11. Mary Washington Official Site says Eagles fell 11-4 to Stevenson in lacrosse

Which means the ‘Stangs are now 8-0. They return to action Saturday with a big game against Top 10 Roanoke at 1pm over at Caves Athletic Complex. It’s ABSOLUTELY worth checking out if you’re in town.

12. says football season tickets go on sale next Thursday

So….make sure you get yours early???

In all seriousness, Tigers football is a VERY affordable option for your sports entertainment dollar. Season tickets start at just $50.

While we’re on the subject of tickets-I’ve realized that in order to get any sort of reasonable tickets to the U2 show in Philadelphia this July-I’m going to have to use a secondhand site and pay between $100 and $150 for tickets. I’ll be happy to do it-but only If I’m guaranteed they’ll close the show with “Bad.”

And finally, I leave you with this.

Josh Smith did this last night. You didn’t. He’s better than you.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…