Thursday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

April 01, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Happy Thursday!

It’s a Happy Thursday for me because:

A-I still don’t live anywhere near North Harford High School

B-Instead of bothering with that whole pesky “Spring” thing around here, we’ve decided to just go right from Winter to Summer. Therefore, I was able to take “The Luckiest Dang Gal on the Face of the Planet” over to Essex Community College to play tennis for the first time this year. Sadly, her skill level was no greater than either of these two young ladies…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkRaFSduX3Q[/youtube]

Thank God she’s pretty.

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. The AP’s David Ginsburg says Jason Berken, Jim Johnson roughed up as Birds fell to Red Sox

Do the Orioles think the last week of Spring Training is optional???

I mean, Intern Super Jack came in the other day and told me he was having a tough time caring about his work at Towson High School because he was battling a case of “senioritis”, but when he’s done, he’s….DONE.

When the Orioles finish Grapefruit League play, they actually have to go play real games.

They know that, right?

I’m reasonably certain that with Koji Uehara headed to the DL, there’s no chance Jason Berken doesn’t leave Sarasota and come to Baltimore in the bullpen-but it would have been nice to see a more representative effort for sure.

Jake Arrieta makes the start today in Port Charlotte against the Rays, who are starting someone named Mike Ekstrom, who I’m reasonably certain I went to Chapel Hill Elementary School with. I think we both had Ms. Lutz-Itzoe in 3rd grade.

2. MLB.com’s Brittany Ghiroli says Brian Roberts played in 3rd straight game against Boston

I know WHY this is apparently a news story, but……..WHY IS THIS A NEWS STORY???

In a related story, Cesar Itzuris chewed the same brand of gum for the 3rd straight day; going with Juicy Fruit.

And for a 3rd straight day, I spent more time looking at pictures of Katy Perry over at What Tyler Durden Do than I did covering sports.

katyperry

3. WNST.net’s Glenn Clark & Drew Forrester pick Orioles 4th in AL East, DF picks Matusz to win Cy Young Award

You know that Forrester-consummate Orioles apologist.

As I said yesterday when we discussed this on “The Comcast Morning Show”, I’m taking the UNDER on the number of 74 1/2 wins that Las Vegas has posted for the Birds.

It’s just WAAAY too easy to say “The Orioles are going to be better…they’ll win 80 games.”

How?

They play 54 games against the Yankees, Red Sox and Rays. Are they going to win 25? Even 20? If they can win 20, they’d have to 54-54 over the rest of their schedule just to hit 74 victories.

Are you confident that the Orioles can go .500 against the rest of the teams on their schedule? Are you confident that they can win 20 of 54 against the best teams in the AL East?

If not, picking the over would be a bad choice.

And I’m not just trying to be a “Debbie Downer.” If the Orioles win 74 games, that will be a 10 game improvement! But this thought process that just because they are somewhat improved, they’ll compete to be .500; I guess people don’t understand that other baseball teams TRY.

4. Deadspin’s Will Leitch says ‘early season schedule particularly cruel’ to O’s

Of course, because the early season is so difficult, the middle of the season will also be “particularly cruel”, the end of the season will also be “particularly cruel”, and offseason will also be “particularly cruel.”

In fact, I’ll turn it over to Bananarama from here…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPNhV1gF008[/youtube]

5. WNST.net says Ravens to play Panthers, Giants at home; Redskins, Rams on road during preseason

Rumor has it the Ravens requested that they also play an exhibition game against a semi-pro team at Ambridge High School in suburban Pittsburgh, but apparently EVERYONE IN WESTERN PENNSYLVANIA KNEW THAT WAS UNACCEPTABLE.

It’s a bit strange that Carolina is coming to M&T Bank Stadium knowing that the Ravens will turn around and visit Charlotte in the regular season; but these things have happened before. Fortunately, the first preseason game (even if it is on ESPN) doesn’t usually include a whole lot of playing time for the starters, so John Fox’s staff won’t see too much from John Harbaugh’s staff.

6. National Football Post’s Aaron Wilson says Troy Smith has switched agents, leaving Ralph Cindrich for Neil Cornrich

How’s the crawl?

The first thing Neil Cornrich said as agent to Troy Smith: “Hey man, before we go talking about trades or anything like that, why don’t we make sure there are other NFL teams that actually want you.”

By the way, I’d crawl to Cleveland myself if I knew Vida Guerra was waiting for me there painted like a tiger… (Thanks Don Chavez!)

vida

7. BaltimoreRavens.com’s Mike Duffy says Domonique Foxworth went to Randallstown for US Census Drive with Congressman Dutch Ruppersberger

Did VH1 begin a new season of “The Surreal Life” without letting any of us know in advance?

It’s very clear that Domonique Foxworth is much smarter than the rest of us (and if you’ve been to his Facebook page, you’d also know that his girlfriend is much prettier than any of ours…and she’s an attorney); and clearly he makes more money than the rest of us.

Therefore, Domonique Foxworth, I shake my fist in your general direction!

Before I move on from the Ravens, let me remind you that we will be out at 1 Winning Drive today to meet Ravens WR Donte’ Stallworth. I will be Tweeting live (follow us on Twitter @WNST) and will be blogging right here. You can also hear today’s press conference this afternoon with Rex Snider and Ray Bachman.

8. Stevenson Official Site says Trip Latta scored 4 goals as Mustangs topped Hood College 20-4

Which sets up an undefeated #1 vs. #2 showdown for the ‘Stangs Saturday afternoon against Salisbury at Caves Athletic Complex in Owings Mills. I’ll be there. You should be too.

You know who else should be there? Rosie Huntington-Whiteley…(Thanks Guyism.com!)

rhw

9. D1scourse’s Patrick Stevens says Maryland freshman QB Devin Burns impressing Ralph Friedgen

Obviously the idea here would be to redshirt Burns this season with two freshman QB’s (C.J. Brown and Danny O’Brien) ahead of him, but it is going to create quite a battle come 2011 after Jamarr Robinson goes under center this season.

My guess? Burns ends up being THE guy-even if O’Brien or Brown starts for a short time, as I get the feeling James Franklin will want Burns’ athleticism under center.

Of course, James Franklin might be the head coach at that point, so who knows.

10. The Sun’s Don Markus says Terps LB David Mackall doesn’t think he would have made it to College Park had he not left Woodlawn for Edmondson

Look, I just haven’t found a way to squeeze in a picture of what I had for dinner last night, so I’ll just do it here. I had some shrimp jumbalaya last night, and it was delicious…

shrimp

But read the Don Markus story, it was pretty good.

And finally, I leave you with this.

Did Flip Murray really hit THIS SHOT the other night and it DIDN’T COUNT???

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=St2L0fvXYC0[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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