Thursday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

April 08, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Happy Thursday!

It’s a Happy Thursday for me because I was able to do my taxes last night, and I’m getting about $350 from the government.

How am I going to spend it?

Well, I know THIS will be the FIRST thing I pick up…


I’d invite Mike Gonzalez to come over and play, but I know he’ll be a bit high on most of his throws.

(Edit from GMC: Calm. Down. I’m just having fun.)

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. The AP says Evan Longoria homered again as Rays took 2nd straight from Orioles

Because we all know I’m thinking about it, let’s just go ahead and get a sexy picture of EVA Longoria out of the way, then we can move on to important sports-related commentary…


Look, Evan Longoria is GOOD. I’m really getting the feeling he’s going to end up in the Top 3 in AL MVP voting this season. Yeah. THAT good. Making matters worse, Matt Garza was DEALING for Tampa Bay last night, while Jeremy Guthrie put together a workmanlike if not spectacular 6.1 innings.

Pretty good, not good enough.

Which might be the name of the 2010 Orioles season in review DVD when it sees the light of day.

Guthrie struck out 6, but he also gave up 8 hits and walked 2. He’s not going to face pitchers who like as good as Matt Garza looked last night (although the Birds’ lineup certainly deserves to shoulder some of the blame), but he’s going to face other good pitchers-especially early this season as teams keep their rotation as together as possible.

He’ll HAVE to do better.

2. AP offer numerical evidence of Orioles’ loss

You know, I enjoy donuts. Glazed, Boston Creme, Chocolate, the whole nine yards…


…but I DON’T enjoy seeing a leadoff hitter carry a donut through two games.

I have no idea if Brian Roberts is 100 percent or not. But I DO know that I was concerned about his late arrival in Spring Training carrying over to a slow start to the season.

Swinging at the first pitch he saw from Rafael Soriano with the tying run in scoring position last night was QUESTIONABLE at best.

Should he sit down and let Julio Lugo play tonight? Julio Lugo certainly thinks so, but I’m not ready to just say that just yet. ”

I AM ready to say that Brian Roberts needs to get on base. But I’m known to make crazy proclimations.

3.’s Brittany Ghiroli says Nolan Reimold replaced Felix Pie in O’s lineup as Pie deals with left rotator cuff strain

Well, why not?

I think the official count of “Pie would have had that ball” comments last night on Twitter (follow us @WNST) was 1,847,322,098. Or something around there.

The funniest thing about is that on Tuesday night, there was a major commotion from fans about missing Reimold’s bat while Pie played; and last night the commotion was about missing Pie’s legs while Reimold played.

Is there a mad scientist somewhere that can flex these guys into Nolix Piemold and just give the team ONE leftfielder?

Also, congratulations to David Stevenson (@DS31415 on Twitter) for being named “Apologist of the Morning” by Drew Forrester. David caught my attention by apparently being able to tell THIS through two games…

“Last year’s team would have rolled over and died. This year’s team has fight in them.”

Ummm….sure. But he REALLY sealed the award when he started talking about his excitement for Bowie Baysox baseball, as they open their season tonight. Of course, he was unable to keep reality in the picture as he discussed his excitement…

“Hopefully gonna see Zach Britton pitch tomorrow at Bowie. He is EERILY similar to Andy Pettite. So similar it honestly gives me the chills.”

No David, you give ME the chills. THAT is good stuff. Attention “Dan the Man” from the website “The Loss Column”, you’re on notice.

4. St. Petersburg Times’ Joe Smith says Birds hope to ’emulate’ Rays

Starting IMMEDIATELY…by winning two straight games. That would be GREAT.

Brian Matusz takes the bump for the O’s tonight at Tropicana Field against Jeff Niemann and the Rays. First pitch is 7:10 and the game can be seen on MASN2.

I’d like “The Luckiest Dang Gal on the Face of the Planet” to ’emulate’ Adrianne Curry. If she posted pictures on Twitter like AC does, I’d actually follow her (Thanks Giggity Greg!)…


5. National Football Post’s Joe Fortenbaugh says Morgan State WR Edward Morton-Green to work out at 1 Winning Drive

With no offense to EJ Morton-Green, if the Ravens were going to select a recent Bears WR, how could it POSSIBLY not be Edwin Baptiste???

It’s still the greatest catch I’ve ever seen.

Morton-Green is 6’4″ and 214 pounds-and as we all know, you can’t coach size. His numbers weren’t particularly impressive in 2009 (24 catches, 324 yards, 2 TD’s). I’m not sure how much of that you can put on playing MEAC football.


There’s a chance Morton-Green’s workout is little more than a “local prospects” workout for the Ravens. He’s also working out with the Eagles and Bengals-but the Eagles are still FAIRLY local, and the Bengals could host him because he’s an Ohio native. The Ravens bring in local prospects every year, and even allowed former Towson WR Tommy Breaux to take part in their rookie minicamp a season ago.

BUT….it still doesn’t change the fact that you CAN’T COACH SIZE.

6. Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson says Mel Kiper thinks Ravens should select Georgia Tech WR Demaryius Thomas in NFL Draft

Speaking of “can’t coach size”, Thomas is 6’3″, 229 pounds. Those are good numbers.

Of course, with Anquan Boldin and Donte’ Stallworth in tow-many will argue that the Ravens aren’t well served to select a receiver in the first round. But as we’ve talked about before here, the Ravens DON’T have receivers (besides Boldin and TECHNICALLY Derrick Mason) who are under contract beyond this season.

They need young receivers, and we have every reason to think they’ll go that route at some point in the Draft. Is taking a a player in the first round from a system offense in the ACC coming off a foot injury a great idea? I don’t know. But would adding a player or his size to the Ravens’ receiving corps be a great idea? Yeah, it probably would.

7. The Sun’s Kevin Van Valkenburg says Ravens should consider trading out of 1st round; looking at players like Terrence Cody, Kareem Jackson, Patrick Robinson, Jimmy Graham

I’ve liked this idea myself for some time-especially after the Boldin deal. There ISN’T a player at 25 that I love (with MAYBE the exception of Jermaine Gresham…MAYBE); and it would be very difficult to trade up this year. Trading back may allow the Ravens to address multiple needs-especially with talented corners available in Rounds 2 and 3.

Dominique Franks from Oklahoma is one of those types of corners. He was on with Drew Forrester this morning, if you missed that (or Minnesota WR Eric Decker with Ray Bachman & Rex Snider yesterday, or Clemson WR Jacoby Ford with Bob Haynie yesterday) make sure you check out the Audio Vault here at

8. D1scourse’s Patrick Stevens says Towson topped UMBC 10-7 behind 3 goals from Tim Stratton

Tony Seaman’s team has been improving recently-sorta similar to how they started to improve mid-to-late through last season before making a run in the CAA Tournament.

You know who else has been improving recently? Filipa Nunes (Thanks!)…


9. says Richie Ford tallied 9 points as Stevenson won at Marymount

Which was a GREAT way to bounce back from Saturday’s loss to Salisbury. The ‘Stangs know that the loss to the Gulls is only meaningful until the teams (potentially) meet again in the NCAA Tournament.

And of course, a story about a team called “Marymount” is MORE meaningful when accompanied by a photo of adult film star Mary Carey. I’m sure you understand.


10. The Diamonadback’s Kate Yanchulis says Terps looking to avoid falling to 0-3 during crucial North Carolina/Virginia/Navy/Hopkins stretch

I went to dinner with Patrick Stevens (from D1scourse) last night…we of course went to Chick-Fil-A…and I said to him “it wouldn’t surprise me if they went 0-4.”

God I hope not. Not just for my sake, but for Dave Cottle’s sake more.

And finally, I leave you with this.

Look-I’m as much a fan of food porn as ANYONE IN THE WORLD. But the new KFC “Double Down”? I’m just not so sure I’m in…


…did we need this as a country???

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…