Thursday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

April 29, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Happy Thursday!

It’s a Happy Thursday for me because a Washington sports team suffered an unthinkably bad loss last night! Woo hoo!!!

(Edit from GMC: I’ve tried to hold back my disdain for the Washington Capitals for a few weeks. I can’t do it anymore. Screw them, and screw all of the people in DC who root for them. They’re the same people who root for the Redskins. I HATE the Redskins. And those insufferable fans down there, who TRULY believe they are real, authentic sports fans and deserve something from their pathetic, worthless sports franchises.)

There’s nothing that pleases me more than knowing that this old woman is probably crying again this morning…

sadskins

She might want to keep those Kleenex nearby when Donovan McNabb gets hurt in Week 3. (Edit from GMC: I just knocked on wood out of fear that Joe Flacco might get hurt. PLEASE don’t get hurt Joe.)

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. The AP’s David Ginsburg says Sabathia stymied Orioles in 8-3 Yankees win

Watching CC Sabathia pitch last night, I had a couple of thoughts:

1-Boy would it be nice to be able to root for a guy like this on MY team

2-He looks like a skinny Ray Bachman!

CC gave the Yankees just about what they paid for last night. He’s not always going to be perfect, but he’s going to win a lot more than he’s going to lose. He gave up more hits than I would have expected, but he was effective after he gave up hits. Not perfect, but damn good.

Jeremy Guthrie? Well, I didn’t like the Jeremy Guthrie I saw last night. He’s pitched well for the better part of the season. I hope we see more of that.

I also hope we see more of this…

tracymorgan

As Tracy Morgan is the best thing that’s happened to MASN in like….ever.

2. The AP/WNST.net offer numerical evidence of Birds’ loss

At this point, I believe even THIS MAN is having a better month than Adam Jones…

ovie

I’m not suggesting that Adam Jones be benched, but I do think it’s about time ANYONE ELSE leads off.

I mean, I’d even consider Craig Tatum at this point.

3. Fanhouse’s Andrew Johnson says ‘bitterness, cynicism, anger’ have come over Camden Yards fanbase

Which is incorrect.

Bitterness and cynicism happened in 2002. This is just plain indifference.

I can’t believe “Neal S” from The Loss Column somehow didn’t win “Apologist of the Morning” after this small piece of genius…

“I will say this, though: the horrendous start is not further proof of why folks are justified in staying away. Quite the opposite. Now is exactly the time to be there, More so than ever. That more fans don’t think this way is truly sad.”

Yep, people should feel bad because they choose not to pay a day of game service charge and a “premium game” service charge to sit with 20,000 fans from New York and watch a 4-17 team.

Yep, that’s the fans’ fault.

Wow.

4. New York Daily News’ Mark Feinsand says Yanks skipper Girardi not happy about Guthrie plunking Posada

Very obviously Guthrie wasn’t TRYING to plunk Posada. That being said, when a team is forced to go from Jorge Posada to Fransico Cervelli, I can understand the frustration.

There are like 5,100,888 “unwritten” rules in baseball, so I’m guessing AJ Burnett will probably have to plunk…Ty Wigginton?? Wow, has it come to that? Maybe it’ll be Matt Wieters, but someone is getting thrown behind tonight.

And people wonder why other sports have become more popular than baseball.

5. ESPN.com’s Rob Neyer says Chris Tillman threw no-hitter for Norfolk Tides

And this is LEGITIMATELY one of the most significant things that has happened for this organization since Cal Ripken’s retirement.

I’m not kidding either.

Rafael Palmeiro’s 3,000th hit would probably have to be the landmark “moment” since 2001-with maybe the expection of Miguel Tejada winning the All-Star Game MVP honors in 2005.

But this goes in the Top 10, if not the Top 5.

Seriously.

That’s what it’s come to.

As I noted on Twitter last night (feel free to follow us @WNST); Tillman now joins exclusive company in throwing an Orioles minor league no-hitter. Exclusive company like…RADHAMES LIZ!!!

I just hope it’s the last time…EVER…that the two pitchers are compared favorably.

(Note: Liz was a combined no-no with the Frederick Keys; I’m well aware.)

6. The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Tim Bascom, Cole McCurry struggled on farm

And before we move on from the Orioles, a reminder that they’re back at it tonight at OPACY-as Brian Matusz faces AJ Burnett at 7:05pm. We’ll be “Orange Crush”-ing at WNST.net.

And congratulations to the MASN staff (we chose Adam Dembeck to accept on their behalf) for being named “Apologist of the Morning.” Nick Markakis was a nominee for Game MVP last night. A game where the Orioles got their asses kicked.

Of course he was.

7. National Football Post’s Aaron Wilson says Ravens cut FB Charles Ali, will try Edgar Jones, Mike McLaughlin at FB

And you would have already known McLaughlin and Edgar Jones were Fullback options had you been listening to our live NFL Draft coverage here on AM1570 over the past weekend.

I’m not really sure that many people in Charm City were even aware there was someone named Charles Ali on the team. Laila Ali would be much more interesting…

Laila Ali

8. D1scourse’s Patrick Stevens says Johns Hopkins kept NCAA Tournament hopes alive with win over Towson

Sometimes your big brother has to remind you that he’s still your big brother, huh?

Tony Seaman’s Tigers were down 8-0 to the Blue Jays AT HALF.

The Jays will still have to go to Loyola next Saturday and beat the Greyhounds to get into the Tournament, while the Tigers have to beat Hofstra to have a shot at an at-large berth. Towson could still get an automatic bid if they could win the CAA Tournament-and they’ll have the advantage of playing games at Unitas Stadium.

And if you’re a Towson fan who wants to feel better today, I think I can help you. Trust me on this-you’re still a winner. How? Well, let’s take a look at a picture of upcoming Towson grad and current WNST intern Genna to figure out how…

genna

9. WNST.net’s Gary Quill says Endorsement out, Make Music for Me in Kentucky Derby

“Make Music for Me” is a much better name for a horse anyway. Endorsement isn’t a horse, it’s a political event!

I haven’t decided who I think is going to win this thing yet-but I know I’m going to look sharp walking the grounds in Louisville. I’ll be Twitpic-ing and Facebook-ing pictures (Add me as a friend if you’d like, just search “Glenn Clark.” I’ll be the guy labeled as “The Complete Package.”), so you’ll fully understand shortly.

The only way someone could look better is if Lizzy Caplan from True Blood showed up at Churchill Downs. (Thanks Guyism!)

lizzy

10. Daily Racing Form’s Jay Privman says Derby favorite Lookin At Lucky will start at rail

Immediately after the draw, Bob Baffert’s team got a note from jockey Calvin Borel. It read:

“Don’t get comfortable. I’ll be headed there shortly.”

And finally, I leave you with this…

There’s something interesting about Wendy Combattente. I just can’t quite put my pe finger on it (Thanks Busted Coverage!)…

wendy

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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