Thursday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

May 06, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Happy Thursday!

It’s a Happy Thursday for me because 1-The Phoenix Suns won last night; putting the whole “Los Suns” thing to rest; and 2-After 2 weeks of missing it, I finally get to update “The Greatest Song of All Time This Week.”

The good news here is that had I known this song existed before I left for Louisville, “The Luckiest Dang Gal on the Face of the Planet” may have broken up with me out of frustration because I insisted on keeping the song on repeat on my iPod…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_f8EiNTuh8[/youtube]

I miss Nappy Roots so much. This isn’t TECHNICALLY Nappy Roots (it’s actually rapper KD with two members of Nappy Roots), but you get the point. You DO get the point, don’t you?

“My Old Kentucky Home” gave me goosebumps when I heard it at the Kentucky Derby. “My Kentucky Home” makes me bop my head shake my ass. They’re similar feelings really.

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. The AP’s Rick Freeman says Yankees roughed up David Hernandez early en route to sweeping Orioles

Of course, don’t tell that to our buddy Demsey’s Army; or @DempseysArmy via Twitter. He said…

“David Hernandez may never be very good but he certainly has balls. Unflappable.”

Unflappable, unsuccessful…they’re very similar thought processes.

Of course, DA was the easy choice this morning from “The Great Arbitrator” Drew Forrester for “Apologist of the Morning” on AM1570 WNST’s “The Morning Reaction.”

Hernandez was brutal yesterday, but the O’s were at least able to make it interesting once Andy Pettitte was forced to leave the game. The Yanks might have a real issue on their hands dealing with their older players. Of course, I’d gladly take that issue myself if I could have the players on their team.

7-21. There we go.

2. WNST.net/The AP offer numerical evidence of sweep

Since I wasn’t in Baltimore this weekend, I will be forced to admit that I’m starting to wonder if the sweep of the Red Sox really ever did happen.

If I had seen it with my own eyes, it would be easier to believe, but I will admit that I’m starting to wonder if it was nothing more than a cruel civic prank that every last one of you was in on.

Credit the Orioles’ bullpen for 4.1 innings of relief without giving up an earned run. The bullpen HAS pitched well of late, although there still isn’t a closer and I’m not sure the team even still remembers what the defined roles were for each pitcher back when the season started.

By the way, how funny was it to see Rick Kranitz get tossed early yesterday? It gave me the feeling of “What the hell am I going to do here anyway?”

Funny stuff.

3. WNST.net’s Jay Trucker says Uehara set to return, Alberto Castillo to be sent down

Jay makes a lot of very good points about Uehara, who represents a lot of the frustration those of us who aren’t in the “Andy MacPhail can do no wrong” camp.

The Orioles gave Uehara 10 million dollars. 10 million dollars. Not a single other team in Major League Baseball thought he was a legitimate starter, and the Orioles gave him 10 million dollars.

Maybe Koji Uehara CAN help the bullpen, but it’s frustrating to even think about him being on the roster. Some people think he should be the closer, but I’m not sure it’s in his makeup.

You know who DOES have it in their makeup? Simone Starr! (Thanks Guyism!)

simonestarr

4. Fanhouse’s Tom Fornelli says Andy MacPhail threatened to send Birds’ struggling bats down to Norfolk

Kudos to Orioles fans for their almost unanimous reaction to the news. I pulled some highlights from the Baltimore Sun’s comment section after Jeff Zrebiec first posted the story…

-“I find this kind of funny from the man who assembled this mess. Threats don’t motivate players; better talent does, and MacPhail has failed miserably with his “grow the arms and buy the bats” philosophy.”
-“I didn’t notice anywhere in the article where Andy took personal responsibility for selecting the players on the team. Is it too much to ask that he say he is personally responsible for the failures on the team instead of just pointing the finger?
-“He should have said, “Sometimes you have to take into account I have complied a team that looks like an expansion roster.”"
-“How about he send himself to Norfolk for assembling this crap-tastic team. Lets see, we needed a SS, Clean-up hitter, and top of the rotation starter when he first got here….and we still need a SS, clean up hitter, and top of the rotation starter years later.”
-“So, is MacPhail basically saying, “I crapped the bed this offseason?”"

I could go on, but I think you get the point.

If MacPhail is angry about how the lineup has performed, maybe he should ask himself why the lineup didn’t have any real power hitters/run producers.

You know, amongst the other things he should ask himself.

5. The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Steve Johnson, Caleb Joseph had big night on farm for O’s

And before we move on from the Orioles, a reminder that the Birds now head to Minnesota for their first ever series against the Twins at Target Field. Game 1 is tonight at 8:10pm, and can be seen on MASN2. Brad Bergesen (gulp) is scheduled to face Carl Pavano, and we’ll be chatting about it in our “Orange Crush” at WNST.net, which I believe will be hosted by the great Bob Haynie.

I’d be more excited about the game tonight, but Iron Man 2 comes out at midnight. Priorities, people.

6. National Football Post’s Aaron Wilson says Ed Reed had offseason hip surgery

As I wrote yesterday, don’t get worked up about this. Ed Reed had an injured hip/groin that forced him to miss four games. Like other players who miss time due to injuries, he decided to have offseason surgery.

Really a “nothing to see here” type of story.

Ed has told anyone that will listen this offseason that he’ll be back on the field this season as long as he’s healthy enough to be out there. John Harbaugh, Ozzie Newsome, etc. are all working under the assumption that Reed will return.

Nothing about that changed with this “news.”

7. BaltimoreRavens.com’s Mike Duffy says Ravens installing new “Momentum 51″ field at M&T Bank Stadium

Apparently the field will be in place for the NCAA lacrosse Final Four on Memorial Day weekend.

So…that’s the extent of what I can tell you about that.

I mean, really-it’s a new field. I’d love to be excited about it and give you more information about it, but it’s a field.

So…instead let’s take a look at a picture of Julianne Hough, which was posted yesterday at BarStool Sports. It’s MUCH more interesting…

hough

8. D1scourse’s Patrick Stevens says Matt Hughes scored 3 goals for Towson as Tigers beat UMass in CAA Tournament semifinal

I wandered over to Unitas Stadium just in time for the 3rd quarter last night. By the time the 3rd quarter was over, I was ready to begin my Cinco de Mayo festivities.

It was an impressive performance in the 2nd half last night for Tony Seaman’s club. Seaman will join Drew Forrester tomorrow morning at 8:05 to preview Saturday’s CAA Championship Game, where Towson will host Delaware.

And in no world do I believe that a HEN is capable of beating a TIGER.

9. UMBCRetrievers.com says lacrosse season over after 11-7 loss to Albany in America East Tournament semifinal

Tough season for Don Zimmerman’s club.

We can lament, or we can look at these pictures of Cassie Keller, who is apparently starring in some rip-off video called “Miss Gruber” that Playboy put together. I support everything about it, and thank Busted Coverage for the discovery…

missgruber

Don’t bother asking me which one is Cassie. I don’t know, and it doesn’t matter.

10. Daily Racing Form’s Jay Privman says Nick Zito horse Ice Box will skip Preakness, begin preparation for Belmont

I really think there was an issue with Ice Box’s knees last week. He had them wrapped on Friday morning, and Zito didn’t appear happy. He ran particularly well, especially considering the bad trip he got, having run into traffic twice coming down the stretch.

Given that the Preakness is a BIT shorter, I don’t know that Ice Box was necessarily going to be a favorite at Pimlico-but he would certainly be amongst the favorites.

And to appease Chris Bonetti, here’s a picture of “Ice Box” from the movie Little Giants now all grown up…

icebox

And if you missed Kentucky Derby-winning trainer of Super Saver Todd Pletcher on with Drew Forrester this morning, check it out in the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault here at WNST.net.

And finally, I leave you with this.

Everyone in the world has posted the Bobby Cox/Bobby Cocks cake picture, but it’s STILL funny. Well played United States Senate.

cocks

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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