Top 10 Baseball Distractions

July 06, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention-Auto Racing: NASCAR LifeLock.com 400 (Saturday 7:30pm from Chicago live on TNT); WNBA All-Star Game (Saturday 3:30pm from Mohegan Sun, CT live on ESPN)

10. Frankie Beverly & MAZE (Saturday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion), Counting Crows (Monday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Lynyrd Skynyrd/Bret Michaels/38 Special (Friday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live), Tim McGraw (Saturday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live), Sting (Sunday 8pm Jiffy Lube Live); Pietasters & All Mighty Senators (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live), Smashing Pumpkins (Monday 7pm Rams Head Live); Josh Thompson (Saturday 8pm Power Plant Live), Donavon Frankenreiter (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); “Despicable Me” in theaters (Friday)

Well, I’m going to need tickets to the Counting Crows Monday night. I don’t care how I get them, but someone is going to have to take care of me here. Adam Duritz is NOT coming to town with me missing it. Figure out amongst yourselves who is going to take care of the tickets for me and let me know.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXI7tRWmZ9w[/youtube]

I’m well aware that Skynyrd isn’t nearly the same; but I’d be all for chewing some tobacco, grabbing my confederate flag, and rocking out… (Editor’s Note: I will NOT be doing either of the first two things on that list.)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygausyezIOc[/youtube]

It’s fitting that I just back from Chicago, because the Smashing Pumpkins are also from Chicago. The two are in no ways related, but I had nothing else prepared here. Here’s Tonight Tonight. We’ll talk later.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAS6daVLT5U[/youtube]

9. Lacrosse: MLL All-Star Game (Thursday 7pm from Boston live on ESPN2), Boston Cannons @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on ESPN3)

You mean to tell me they’re playing a lacrosse all-star game in BOSTON?

Why not just hold next year’s Purple Camo convention in Beantown too???

camos

What do we have left in Charm City?!?!?!?

8. NBA Summer League: Utah Jazz vs. Orlando Magic (Tuesday 1pm), Charlotte Bobcats vs. Oklahoma City Thunder (Tuesday 3pm), Philadelphia 76ers vs. Boston Celtics (Tuesday 5pm), Indiana Pacers vs. New Jersey Nets (Tuesday 7pm), Charlotte Bobcats vs. Boston Celtics (Wednesday 1pm), Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Philadelphia 76ers (Wednesday 3pm), New Jersey Nets vs. Orlando Magic (Wednesday 5pm), Indiana Pacers vs. Utah Jazz (Wednesday 7pm), Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Orlando Magic (Thursday 1pm), Indiana Pacers vs. Boston Celtics (Thursday 3pm), Utah Jazz vs. New Jersey Nets (Thursday 5pm), Philadelphia 76ers vs. Charlotte Bobcats (Thursday 7pm), Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Indiana Pacers (Friday 8am), Philadelphia 76ers vs. Utah Jazz (Friday 10am), New Jersey Nets vs. Boston Celtics (Friday 12pm), Charlotte Bobcats vs. Orlando Magic (Friday 2pm….all games from Orlando live on NBA TV); Denver Nuggets vs. Dallas Mavericks (Friday 4pm), Houston Rockets vs. Phoenix Suns (Friday 6pm), Detroit Pistons vs. Los Angeles Lakers (Friday 8pm), Golden State Warriors vs. New Orleans Hornets (Friday 10pm), Toronto Raptors vs. Phoenix Suns (Saturday 4pm), LA Lakers vs. Denver Nuggets (Saturday 6pm), Detroit Pistons vs. Golden State Warriors (Saturday 8pm), Miami Heat vs. New Orleans Hornets (Saturday 10pm), New York Knicks vs. Denver Nuggets (Sunday 4pm), Portland Trailblazers vs. Houston Rockets (Sunday 6pm), Washington Wizards vs. Golden State Warriors (Sunday 8pm), Miami Heat vs. New Orleans Hornets (Sunday 10pm), LA Lakers vs. New York Knicks (Monday 4pm), Sacramento Kings vs. Detroit Pistons (Monday 6pm), Dallas Mavericks vs. Milwaukee Bucks (Monday 8pm), Washington Wizards vs. LA Clippers (Monday 10pm….all games from Las Vegas live on NBA TV)

Dude…we should TOTALLY go to Vegas…and watch Eric Hayes play some basketball games that have the intensity of your average backyard pickup contest.

Oh, and free agency OFFICIALLY starts this week. You know, AFTER it officially started last week. In fairness, I’d honest to God rather hear daily LeBron James rumors than Kevin Millwood DL rumors. Credit to Mike Polk for this gem that I apologize for not posting before today…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bme-BAnCbXk[/youtube]

7. Pro Wrestling: TNA “Victory Road” (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

Velvet Sky is part of TNA. Maybe you should consider watching…

velvet

6. Cycling: Tour De France (Tuesday-Friday 8:30am, Saturday & Sunday 7:30am from France live on VERSUS)

You know, I had thought about getting into cycling growing up. Yep, right up until my first one of these…

kneescrape

But now, if you’re interested in a stationary bike battle, I know just the guy for you. Yep. My roommate (“The Luckiest Dang Roommate on the Face of the Planet”). Don’t bother asking me. If it doesn’t involve Kettle Chips and a big screen TV, I’m not interested.

5. Golf: PGA Tour John Deere Classic (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS; all golf from Silvis, Illinois), LPGA U.S. Women’s Open (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on ESPN, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on NBC. All golf from Oakmont, PA)

In case you weren’t aware; Oakmont is a suburb of Pittsburgh. However, it is not the first time the women of the LPGA have stopped by. It’s just that the last time, they were trying to escape from Ben Roethlisberger…

bigben

4. Boxing: Jimmy Lange vs. Jimmy LeBlanc (Saturday 7:30pm Patriot Center), Mike Jones vs. Irving Garcia (Friday 11pm from Atlantic City live on Showtime), Juan Manuel Lopez vs. Bernabe Concepcion (Saturday 10pm from Hato Rey, Puerto Rico live on Showtime)

I won’t be attending Jimmy Lange’s fight Saturday night. Not because I don’t love Jimmy Lange, but more because Fairfax is near DC. I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but I’m not too popular in that part of the world these days. HOWEVER, if Jimmy Lange were fighting MATT LeBlanc, I’d be there in a second.  Ol’ “Joey” is still owed an ass-kicking for getting 7 bucks from me for this…

ed

Oh yeah, and while I’m at it….some dude named Mike Jones is fighting this weekend. Please indulge me…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd0S0LwhEDU[/youtube]

And while we’re on the hip-hop topic, I have yet to learn how to “Dougie.” Can anyone help me with this???

3. College Basketball: Baltimore NCAA Summer League (Tuesday-Thursday 6:30pm Reitz Arena)

Morgan State’s Kevin Thompson and Missouri’s Kimmie English are amongst the college players already committed to participating in the tournament over at Loyola.  I’d go play myself, but apparently they use the WHOLE court. I’m better with just the basket and the automatic returner. Of course, I’m not quite as good as the guy Jimmy Kimmel found hanging out…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmEhHOQgK_Y[/youtube]

2. Indoor Football: AIFA Eastern Conference Championship Game- Harrisburg Stampede @ Baltimore Mariners (Saturday 7pm 1st Mariner Arena); AFL-Tampa Bay Storm @ Dallas Vigilantes (Friday 7:30pm from Dallas live on NFL Network)

Here’s what we know. Harrisburg sucks. I mean, how can you root for a team in the same town that freaking Sccop Stanisic played in?

Plus, the Mariners are undefeated. There’s NO WAY a team can go undefeated and then fall short of a title…

tyree

1. Soccer-World Cup: Uruguay vs. Netherlands (Tuesday 2:30pm from Cape Town, South Africa live on ESPN), Germany vs. Spain (Wednesday 2:30pm from Durban, South Africa live on ESPN), 3rd place match (Saturday 2:30pm from Port Elizabeth, South Africa live on ABC), World Cup Final (Sunday 2:30pm from Johannesburg, South Africa live on ABC); MLS: DC United @ New York Red Bulls (Saturday 7:30pm from Harrison, New Jersey live on Comcast SportsNet & MLS Direct Kick)

Uruguay gave us the Parrillada…

parrillada

The Dutch gave us goofy shoes…

shoes

The Germans gave us Lederhosen…

lederhosen

And the Spanish gave us her…

spanish

So clearly, anything short of Spain-Paraguay Sunday would be totally unacceptable.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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