Tuesday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

April 06, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Happy Tuesday!

It’s a Happy Tuesday for me because DESPITE the fact that a mediocre Duke team now gets to call themselves NCAA Champions, it wasn’t ENTIRELY a loss. Barry Aparicio came by with this…

wailua

I have no idea what “Wailua” means, but I’m pretty sure it’s Hawaiian for “hand crafted by Jesus”…

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. WNST.net’s Jay Trucker says Orioles open season that can ‘make Baltimore care about baseball again’ tonight in Tampa against Rays

Which is good, because until now all Baltimore has cared about is a stupid Under Armour logo on Federal Hill. Well, that and finding more pictures of Kelly Brook in her underpants (Thanks Guyism.com!)…

kellybrook

Do I think this Birds team will captivate the city for the better part of the summer? No, I just don’t think they’ll be interesting enough. But do I think that they will provide an occasional distraction between the NFL Draft and Training Camp? Sure they will.

Just not quite as much as Kelly Brook.

2. MLB.com’s Brittany Ghiroli says Birds’ lineup will be Brian Roberts-Adam Jones-Nick Markakis-Miguel Tejada-Luke Scott-Matt Wieters-Felix Pie-Garrett Atkins-Cesar Izturis

When reached for comment, Julio Lugo said “There must be some mistake…”

On paper, it’s a half-representative lineup. And with any luck, the O’s will play half of their games on paper instead of risking injury by playing them on actual fields.

The number is 10. The question is “How many different lineups will Dave Trembley use in the first 10 games?”

I’m taking the over, personally.

3. The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec says Michael Aubrey cleared waivers, sent to Norfolk

Oh thank God our long civic nightmare has finally ended!!!

In fairness, the organization has to be pleased to have not lost Michael Aubrey completely, even if none of us are particularly moved by Aubrey in comparison to the likes of Brandon Snyder and Rhyne Hughes.

For the record, I would have preferred Aubrey O’Day myself…

aod

4. The AP’s Fred Goodall says Rays open season with belief they can compete with Red Sox, Yankees in AL East

Okay, here are your details. It’s Kevin Millwood against James Shields at 7:10 tonight at Tropicana Field-the game can be seen on MASN.

More importantly, the game can be seen with yours truly, Drew Forrester, Nestor Aparicio, Ray Bachman, the gang from Camden Chat, and the gals that didn’t QUITE make the cut for the “Girls of Dundalk” calendar a few years back at Jimmy’s Famous Seafood in Dundalk.

I’ll be the guy in the Orioles polo, Old Bay all over my hands and 5 beers sitting in front of me.

You’ll need to buy me 3 more.

5. National Football Post’s Aaron Wilson says Ravens WR Coach Jim Hostler ran workout for former Syracuse WR Mike Williams

No matter what happened with the Orange last season, Williams is STILL a 6’2″ receiver who caught 133 balls for 2,044 yards and 20 TD’s over (most of) 3 seasons against BCS level competition.

I think the Ravens will draft a receiver. I think Mike Williams will slide. If they think he can work through some of his issues now that he’s reached the NFL level.

And if Williams isn’t available; there’s another Syracuse product I’d look at myself…

syracuse

6. BaltimoreRavens.com’s Mike Duffy says Jim Zorn trying to ‘earn right to be heard’

I would personally prefer that his goofy faces be SEEN…

zorn

If the Washington Post doesn’t send Dan Steinberg to Westminster at some point this summer for a DC Sports Bog follow-up, they have NO SPINE.

In fairness, I thought Zorn was a great hire for Day 1; as long as he has a shared vision with John Harbaugh and Cam Cameron. Those 3 men need to be on the same page to help the growth of Joe Flacco.

As an aside, has anyone seen the goofy new 1st Mariner Bank commercial Joe Flacco did with Ed Hale? The one where Joe keeps saying “Pittsburgh?” I found the behind the scenes video…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFcBgcB8kQA[/youtube]

…but I haven’t found the actual commercial. Clearly it’s effective because I’m talking about it, but it’s goofy as hell.

7. Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson says after Rackers signed with Texans, leaving Shayne Graham as top free agent option for Ravens

It’s about time the Ravens went after a veteran kicker who we knew we could count on to make big kicks in big situations…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ledS2vIy8Ao[/youtube]

…oh, wait.

Look, you can only sign the guys who are available, and Shayne Graham is available. Adam Vinatieri is not.

If Shayne Graham comes here, he’ll have to compete with Billy Cundiff for a job-which I’d imagine he’d win. If he wants a bunch of money, the Ravens may choose to go young again in their pursuit of their next kicker.

It WON’T be Matt Stover. Like my friends told me years ago when I bemoaned the breakup of the Spice Girls, it really is time to move on.

8. WNST.net’s Bob Haynie says former Baltimore Bullets forward Gus Johnson voted to Basketball Hall of Fame

Which is ABSOLUTELY well deserved.

I’m sure the Wizards will do something to honor Johnson at Verizon Center (similar to what they did with Earl Monroe); but the group at 1st Mariner Arena should consider doing the same thing the next time the Harlem Globetrotters come to town-or the next time they do some sort of basketball-related event. (AND1 Mixtape Tour, whatever.)

Of course, this also gives me an excuse to bring up that OTHER Gus Johnson. If you follow us on Twitter (@WNST) you’ll say that I re-Tweeted what may have been the GREATEST TWEET OF ALL TIME last night. Jeff Darlington-who covers the Miami Dolphins for the Miami Herald-said this about Gordon Heyward’s final shot:

If Gus Johnson were calling that game, the final shot goes down. I’m convinced.”

Correct.

9. The Sun says Maryland forward Landon Milbourne, Morgan State guard Reggie Holmes to prepare for NBA Draft at Portsmouth Invitational

I think Milbourne’s lack of a true position will ultimately doom his chances of reaching the NBA; but I do think that he will end up reaching the D-League, or getting the chance to get paid somewhere in Turkey or Israel or something like that.

Holmes is not the typical size you want from a wing as a pro-and his game is not AT ALL complete. But BOY can he shoot. He might not get there in the fall, but when you can shoot like that-you ABSOLUTELY have a chance to make it.

10. Inside Lacrosse says Maryland 5th, Loyola 11th in new Nike/IL Top 20 poll

HOW THE HELL IS JOHNS HOPKINS STILL RANKED STILL RANKED 17TH DESPITE THE FACT THEY’RE 4 AND 5?!?!?

And finally, I leave you with this.

Everyone is all up in arms about Jennifer Hudson’s version of “One Shining Moment.”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBcogk0SWIo[/youtube]

Look…is it as good as EITHER Luther Vandross’ or Teddy Pendergrass’ versions? Of course not. But is it a BAD version? Nah. It’s a tremendous song, and she’s a tremendous vocalist. BUT, the song is more naturally keyed for a male singer. Also, it isn’t Jennifer Hudson’s vault that CBS inexplicably felt it necessary to keep cutting to clips of her singing for some reason or another.

After watching last night’s game, I thought this might have been a more appropriate song to use to honor the Blue Devils…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmXwpPRbVSM[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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