When the Flyers win, a little piece of the earth breaks off and floats into space

April 23, 2012 | Drew Forrester

I’m a bad guy, I know.

But I don’t care.

Not when it comes to the Flyers.

I want misery heaped upon them.

And their fans.

I want them to lose in the next round in whatever heartbreak fashion the hockey gods dream up.

And if (or, likely, WHEN) the Caps are dismissed from the post-season on Wednesday night, I’ll immediately turn my attention to the Flyers’ next series.  I’ll laugh if they lose and cringe a little through gritted teeth if they win.  That 10-3 shellacking they took in Philly last week was about the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.  Too bad the Penguins don’t have any heart, or they would have run up the score on those rag-a-muffins in orange.  I would have loved to see 11-3, 12-3, 13-3, 14-3 and yes, even 15-3.  Wouldn’t that have been great?

Nothing good ever comes from the Flyers winning.


Fewer babies are born around the world when the Flyers win in the post-season because people just aren’t in the lovemaking mood when Philadelphia wins a hockey game.

That’s true.  You can look up the stats.

Restaurants suffer, too, because everyone’s appetite is ruined when the Flyers win a game.

As the title says, a little piece of the earth breaks off somewhere and floats into space anytime the Flyers have success.

It’s horrible watching them win.

I swear, get me that Teixeira document and I’ll sign it in a nano-second if the return on my investment is a season that shows the Flyers going 0-82.

One more thing:

Go to youtube and when you see the search bar, type in the words: “Danny Briere chokes on a penalty shot”.

When you do — well, hell, never mind, don’t bother typing it in.  I’ll just show it to you RIGHT HERE.

Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.