Top 10 Baseball Distractions

October 09, 2012 | Glenn Clark

8. NBA: New York Knicks @ Washington Wizards (Thursday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Brooklyn Nets (Monday 7:30pm from Brooklyn live on Comcast SportsNet)

The NBA is back! Enes Kanter is doing the warm! We landed on the moon!

I’ve got nothing else to add here.

7. Baltimore Running Festival (Saturday Downtown Baltimore)

There is going to be so much nipple blood on the streets of our city. I would participate myself, but there’s about a 300% chance I’d void my bowels en route to the finish line.

I just pray the end of Saturday’s event doesn’t look like this…

6. Auto Racing: NASCAR Chase For The Sprint Cup Bank of America 500 (Saturday 7pm from Charlotte live on ABC)

Two things. First, this was the LAST LAP of last weekend’s race at Talladega. It looks like the apocalypse…

Also, driver Aric Almirola gave away 600 pounds of BACON at Talladega last weekend. He’s clearly our Greatest American Hero.

5. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 153-Anderson Silva vs. Stephan Bonnar (Saturday 10pm from Rio de Janeiro, BRA live on Pay-Per-View); Here Comes The Boom” out in theaters (Friday)

I didn’t include “Here Comes The Boom” in the earlier movie category because THERE’S NO WAY ANY HUMAN BEING COULD ACTUALLY WANT TO GO SEE “HERE COMES THE BOOM.”

Instead, rent a real MMA movie. “Warrior” was superb…