50 Shades of Ray

June 26, 2012 | Ryan Kirby

50 Shades of Ray

A handsome, tantalizing, powerful figure walks into his powerful office in a powerful building.  Men and women stare in awe and wait for him to speak.  A song begins to play.  It is soothing to the ears. Suddenly, the lyrics are audible… “Hot in Herrrrre”.  A rush of powerful and primal urges sweep upon the spectators.  The passion is known.

Despite my best attempts to mimic the repetitive adjectives and monotone writing style, this is about the closest I could get to 50 Shades of Grey.  The purpose of this exercise was three fold.  1) I love making fun of Twilight Fan Fiction 2) To point out the total awesomeness that is Ray Lewis and 3) To introduce you to why I belong as your next Sports Media Star at WNST.

I will not bore you with antecdotes from 1992 about my first Orioles experience or the value of sabremetrics with the upcoming trade deadline.  You can tune into 105.7 if you want to be put to sleep.  A brief overview of my interests other than Baltimore Sports includes the PGA, Guy Fieri, checking out random bikini pictures on facebook, and building urban youth lacrosse.  I will also bring the Ray Lewis like passion, intensity, and edge to WNST that has made them the best in the business.  If this is something you’re not interested in, perhaps you should be listening to Norah Jones with Glenn on your way to go see “Ted” opening night.  Until next time, I’m out.

 

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