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Oriole Nation - oops, let’s go by the proper marketing moniker - “Birdland” is up in arms today.

The 2,438 people who still follow every single move of the team are hearing rumblings that Mark Teixeira is “interested” in possibly signing on with the Washington Nationals.  And, they’re worried.

Relax, people.

Because the Orioles - per their employee handbook - have been slow to react to the open door that is free-agency, it’s time for Scott Boras and Teixeira to turn up the heat a little bit.

What’s the best way to throw a scare into the Birds?

Tex to New York?  Nah, the O’s know at some point the Yankees will stick their stinky fingers in the pie.

Boston?  The Warehouse won’t fall for that one.  Where’s Tex going to play?  First base?  OK, and where does Kevin Youkilis go, to the bullpen?  Teixeira isn’t going to Boston.

The most logical molitov cocktail that Boras and Tex can throw on the front porch of the Orioles is - ta da - the Washington Nationals.

With all due respect to Alanis, wouldn’t it be ironic if Teixeira signs in Washington courtesy of the MASN money given to the Nationals by the Orioles and Peter Angelos?  

If Boras really IS the anti-Christ as some say he is, that would be the ultimate kick to the family jewels of Angelos & Company.  ”You won’t give my guy $20 million for 8 years to play in Baltimore?  Fine, you’ll give him $20 million for 8 years to play in Washington.”

But I’m not buying it.  And I’m a dummy.

A smart guy like MacPhail isn’t buying it, either.

Teixeira’s not going to Washington.

Sure, I know - as the crow flies - it’s only about a 30-mile difference in the drive from Severna Park to DC than it would be Severna Park to Baltimore.  I realize Tex would be almost as much “at home” playing before 18,000 in DC than he would be playing before 14,000 in Baltimore.  But when he grew up, Tex didn’t dream about playing for the Nationals.  He wanted to play in Baltimore.

And he still might want to play for the O’s. 

But they have to pay him.

Will they?

Who knows?  The way they drag their feet on stuff like this, Obama might be running for a 2nd term before they get around to making Boras and Teixeira their offer.

But I know this, the O’s won’t fall for the “Mark is interested in Washington DC” story that Boras had one of his interns leak to the national media yesterday.

They’re really only competing with themselves here.

Make Teixeira the offer and get the deal done and start selling some tickets.

Or, keep waiting, don’t sign anyone, and see if anyone rushes to the windows to buy seats.

I’m looking at the Warehouse right now, actually:

The windows —— are bare.