Andrew’s OCD and ‘Pick of the Day’

August 03, 2007 | WNST Interns

I’ve got another pick for you which I’ll get to in a minute. First I thought it might interest you to take a quick peek into the mind of a semi-deranged sports talk show host. While I may appear to be normal on the outside, if you could magically read my thoughts for a day you’d realize just how twisted I am. Take, for example, yesterday. I was on AOL and saw a recent picture of of Joy Behar, the "Jewey" looking broad on "The View" (as a member of the Hebrew tribe I can get away with using this term) who, as it turns out, is Italian. I thought to myself "she’s not too attractive now but I wonder if she was hot 30 years ago?"

This led to a 3 hour online search for pictures of a young Joy. At one point I even Googled "Joy Behar Nude". And while I didn’t find any pics of her in her birthday suit (or even young for that matter) I did read her bio and can tell you every meaningless thing there is to know about her. Born in Brooklyn in 1943 Joy graduated from Queens College, started as a standup comedian, and has appeared in several films including "Manhattan Murder Mystery".
How is any of this info useful? It’s not! That’s my point. I lost a couple of hours of my life totally obsessed with Joy Behar who’s not even as good looking as her twin- Bette Midler. That’s how my mind works.My brother would say "it’s fine if you want to spend hours doing research…JUST MAKE IT SPORTS RELATED YOU IDIOT!" And though I’m passionate about sports last week I just had to spend 5 straight hours reading about the Kent State shooting of 1970. I was listening to the song "Four Dead In Ohio", one thing led to another, and well… you get the idea. I spent the whole day at the computer, never bothered putting on pants, totally ignored my kids and got angry with my wife when she asked me to help with the baby because I needed to understand how something like that could happen in this country. Never mind that it was nearly 40 years ago!
I’m pretty sure I have OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and it makes it tough to accomplish anything. As we announced on last week’s show I am opening a brand new comedy club "Magooby’s Joke House". There’s a million things to do prior to the opening. Because I’m sick, a large percentage of this week has been spent deciding what color the vinyl table clothes will be and whether we should serve the burgers in red baskets or green ones.
I get caught up in worthless minutia. I’ve tried "meds" but they didn’t seem to help. Working out in the gym can help settle my mind but then THAT becomes an obsession. Instead of doing a few bench presses and some cardio I start to take creatine and worry about my protein intake.
Moderation. Everything in moderation. That’s the key I’m told. But it’s unlikely I’ll be able to make any signifigant changes in my life. I’m almost 40 years old and I’ve been this way for close to four decades.
I really just wanted to give you my pick for today and now I’ve spent nearly an hour writing to you about my lack of mental health. I can’t figure out how to end this part of the blog and I’m afraid I may obssess about THAT, so rather then lose another valuable minute of my life I’ll just say.. TAKE THE INDIANS (They’re a solid dog play +145 with Sabathia) and let’s see if I can win my third straight.
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